Saturday, August 27, 2011
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Find Miss Call Mobile Number
Telecom Circles
AP - ANDHRA PRADESH
AS - ASSAM
BR - BIHAR & JHARKHAND
CH - CHENNAI
DL - DELHI
GJ - GUJRAT
HP - HIMACHAL PRADESH
HR - HARYANA
JK - JAMMU & KASHMIR
KL - KERALA
KN - KARNATAKA
KO - KOLKATA
MH - MAHARASHTRA
MP - MADHYA PRADESH & CHHATTISGARH
MU - MUMBAI
NE - NORTH EAST
OR - ORISSA
PB - PUNJAB
RJ - RAJASTHAN
TN - TAMILNADU
UE - UTTAR PRADESH(EAST)
UW - UTTAR PRADESH(WEST) & UTTARANCHAL
WB - WEST BENGAL & ANDAMAN NIKOBAR
Cellular Operator
A - AIRTEL
B - BPL MOBILE
C - AIRCEL LTD.
H- HFCL CONNECT (CDMA)>
I - IDEA
M - DOLPHIN (MTNL)
R - RELIANCE TELECOM PVT. LTD./RELIANCE Communications (GSM)
RIM - RELIANCE Communications (CDMA)
S - SPICE COMMUNICATIONS
V - VODAFONE (HUTCH)
Y - RAINBOW (SHYAM) (CDMA)
CELLONE- BHARAT SANCHAR NIGAM LIMITED
T-TATA INDICOM
Note:
1. This is a list of four digit mobile number prefixes(code) of all the the telecom operators across the country. By the first four digit of the mobile number you will know the telecom circle and telecom operator of the subscriber.
2. I do not have any directory for the mobile numbers or any mobile tracking system, and hence I can't provide you the address for any mobile number. So please don't ask me for the same.
3. This information will not be correct if the subscriber is in roaming circles.
4. The '-' and '--' indicates that these codes have not been allotted to any cellular operators.
Mobile Telephone Number Codes for India
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Thursday, June 07, 2007
Close your eyes and make a wish….
Angels will b there to blow u a kiss…
They’ll guide u and make all your dreams come true …
Just like they did for me when I asked for a "SWEETHEART" like u...
......{\\......._____.....,
.....{*.\\.....(*~*~*).../}
....{.~.*\\....////^^\\../~}
....{*....\\..(((/.6.6./.*}
....{..*.~.\\.)))c..=.)*..}
.....{*...*.////“_/~`.~.}
......{~.*.((((.`.`\\.*}“
.......`{.~.)))`\\.\\))_.-:<*>
..........`{.(()..`\\_.-“`.`:
............`)/.`..|
.............(....\\“ \\
..............\\....\\ .\\
........_ .__\\...| / ........|` `“...``Y;
........|./``-../../
........`“......|./
................/.`-._
................`-----
Friday, May 25, 2007
- My Angel !
You’re the air, babe, that I breathe
You’re the strength that I always need
You’re the light in my eyes
My shining star, yeah, hea
You guide my way
You have to promise me that you will stay
Always and forever
Just you and I
Angel
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Yeah, hea)
You’re my angel (You’re my angel, baby) Alright
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa
You’re my angel (You’re my angel, baby)
Girl, you know that, trust me
I’ll be right here and you can count on me
With a hand to hold
And with open arms (Oh, whoa)
Every day, every night
I will always be your guidin’ light
Always and forever
Just you and me (My angel)
Angel
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Oh, oh)
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
You’ll be the one
Ooh, the one that I need, oh
And you are my angel, my guiding light
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Oh, whoa)
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa (Oh)
You’re my angel (My angel)
Angel My angel
You’re my angel My shining star
Oh, whoa I promise you
You’re my angel Forever and ever
Angel My angel
You’re my angel The air that I breathe
Oh, whoa My only love
You’re my angel You’re my angel forever.
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE
LIKE AN ANGEL - LOOKING FOR SOMETHING NEW
YOU SAID HELLO AND THEN
SOMETHING HAPPENED - A WHOLE DIFFERENT AVENUE
I TOOK YOU IN MY ARMS
AND IT FELT GOOD
JUST SUPERNATURAL
LETS GUESS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
OH BABE JUST COME DOWN OFF YOUR CLOUD
AND MAYBE I WILL REALIZE
THAT YOURE A DEVIL IN DISGUISE
SO LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
THE WAY YOURE KISSING ME
MAKES ME WONDER IF ITS REALITY
THE WAY YOU CHANGE MY DREAMS
MAKES ME HOPE THAT YOULL STAY FOREVER
LETS GUESS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
OH BABE JUST COME DOWN OFF YOUR CLOUD
AND MAYBE I WILL REALIZE
THAT YOURE A DEVIL IN DISGUISE
SO LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
I KNOW YOULL FLY AWAY
NO CHANCE TO STOP YOU
COS ANGELS NEVER STAY
THEY LEAVE YOU
WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE
OH LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
You’re the strength that I always need
You’re the light in my eyes
My shining star, yeah, hea
You guide my way
You have to promise me that you will stay
Always and forever
Just you and I
Angel
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Yeah, hea)
You’re my angel (You’re my angel, baby) Alright
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa
You’re my angel (You’re my angel, baby)
Girl, you know that, trust me
I’ll be right here and you can count on me
With a hand to hold
And with open arms (Oh, whoa)
Every day, every night
I will always be your guidin’ light
Always and forever
Just you and me (My angel)
Angel
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Oh, oh)
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
You’ll be the one
Ooh, the one that I need, oh
And you are my angel, my guiding light
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Oh, whoa (Oh, whoa)
You’re my angel (Yes, you are, yes, you are)
Angel [My angel]
You’re my angel
Whoa, whoa (Oh)
You’re my angel (My angel)
Angel My angel
You’re my angel My shining star
Oh, whoa I promise you
You’re my angel Forever and ever
Angel My angel
You’re my angel The air that I breathe
Oh, whoa My only love
You’re my angel You’re my angel forever.
YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE
LIKE AN ANGEL - LOOKING FOR SOMETHING NEW
YOU SAID HELLO AND THEN
SOMETHING HAPPENED - A WHOLE DIFFERENT AVENUE
I TOOK YOU IN MY ARMS
AND IT FELT GOOD
JUST SUPERNATURAL
LETS GUESS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
OH BABE JUST COME DOWN OFF YOUR CLOUD
AND MAYBE I WILL REALIZE
THAT YOURE A DEVIL IN DISGUISE
SO LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
THE WAY YOURE KISSING ME
MAKES ME WONDER IF ITS REALITY
THE WAY YOU CHANGE MY DREAMS
MAKES ME HOPE THAT YOULL STAY FOREVER
LETS GUESS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
OH BABE JUST COME DOWN OFF YOUR CLOUD
AND MAYBE I WILL REALIZE
THAT YOURE A DEVIL IN DISGUISE
SO LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
I KNOW YOULL FLY AWAY
NO CHANCE TO STOP YOU
COS ANGELS NEVER STAY
THEY LEAVE YOU
WHEN YOU FALL IN LOVE
OH LET ME FEEL
THAT HEAVENS ALL THAT REAL
AND MAKE ME BREAK THE SEAL
JUST BE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
SPREAD YOUR WINGS
LETS DO SOME SPECIAL THINGS
YOURE ALL IVE NEVER HAD
YOURE THAT ANGEL IN MY BED BABY
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
MY ANGEL
===================================
You're my angel in the night
you're everything i think of
everything i dream of.
Yours is the voice i hear when
The moon steals the day.
Yours is the voice
i hear when the sun sneaks
in to warm me.
When my heart aches with lifes pains,
you are my angel.
I never expected someone like you.
Someone kind and loving as you.
You snuck into my life like a true
angel in the night.
Loving you is the only thing that
brought me this far.
Cuz' your my angel in the night.
===========================================
If I should stay..
Well I would only be in your way...
And so I'll go and yet I know..
That I'll think of you
Each step of my way...
And I will always love you..
I will always love you..
Bittersweet memories..
That's all I have and
All I'm taking with me..
So goodbye, please don't cry..
Cause we both know that
I'm not what you need...
But I will always love you..
I will always love you..
And I hope life will treat you kind..
And I hope that you have
All you ever dreamed of..
Oh, I do wish you joy..
And I wish you happiness..
But above all this, I wish you love..
I love you..
I will always love you...
I, I will always, always love you..
I will always love you..
I will always love you...
I will always....
This happens to be my all time favorite song and it is dedicated
to everyone I have loved as well as to everyone I will love
in the future.
But most of all, it is dedicated to my “ANGEL”.
I like her because she LOVES me A LOT.
I love you with all of my being, my “ANGEL”!
===========================================
==================================
My sweet beautiful angel.
Sent to me from above.
I am so grateful to have found you,
and I give you all my love.
You must have come from heaven,
because you have pretty little angel eyes.
When you gaze at me with them,
my heart begins to fly.
Your sweet angelic voice,
continuously rings in my ears.
With you by my side,
there is nothing I fear.
Whenever we are together,
You shine with a heavenly glow.
Your beautiful angel face,
raises me up from feeling low.
Yes, heaven is missing an angel,
because you are here with me.
You're my sweet, beautiful angel,
and I'll love you for eternity!
====================================
As I slowly drift off, deep into my dreams.
I sleep with a smile, surely must do it seems,
For I meet an angel one as white as snow,
My one true love, that I adore worship so.
In sleep we both let ourselves ever be taken,
Away from the morning before we & primal awaken.
We cherish these endless times that we share,
In dreams we can travel to almost anywhere.
A romantic beach or maybe a beautiful shore,
We travel eternity it seems and much more.
We even take flight on Angel & prime’s very wings,
Cherishing and nurturing joys that we bring.
We can go anywhere, to all places unknown,
Taking pleasure, time, as loves seeds are sown.
But gradually slipping from each others sight,
Our eyes slowly open, to the dawn of daylight.
Kisses cuddles not wishing to let one another go
The sweetest feeling only true loved one ’s
know The awakening brings us back down, to reality,
But our hearts know that later, together we’ll be.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Faasale ayse bhi honge .......
Faasale ayse bhi honge ye kabhi socha na tha
samane baitha tha mere aur vo mera na tha
wo ki Khushbu kii tarah phailaa thaa mere chaar su
main use mahasuus kar sakataa thaa chhu sakataa na tha
raat bhar us kii hii aahat kaan main aatii rahii
jhaaNk kar dekhaa galii main koii bhii aayaa na tha
aks to maujood the par aks tanhaaii ke the
aainaa to thaa magar us main teraa cheharaa na tha
aaj us ne dard bhii apane alahadaa kar diye
aaj main royaa to mere saath wo royaa na tha
ye sabhii viiraaniyaa us ke judaa hone se thii
aaNkh dhuNdhalaai huwii thii shahar dhuNdhalaya na tha
yaad karake aur bhii takleef hotii thii "Emran"
bhool jaane ke siwaa ab koii bhii chaaraa na thaa
meri sulagti tanhai ko wo zalim kya samjhe ga
mai har rooz jalta hon ek parwanay ki tarha
samane baitha tha mere aur vo mera na tha
wo ki Khushbu kii tarah phailaa thaa mere chaar su
main use mahasuus kar sakataa thaa chhu sakataa na tha
raat bhar us kii hii aahat kaan main aatii rahii
jhaaNk kar dekhaa galii main koii bhii aayaa na tha
aks to maujood the par aks tanhaaii ke the
aainaa to thaa magar us main teraa cheharaa na tha
aaj us ne dard bhii apane alahadaa kar diye
aaj main royaa to mere saath wo royaa na tha
ye sabhii viiraaniyaa us ke judaa hone se thii
aaNkh dhuNdhalaai huwii thii shahar dhuNdhalaya na tha
yaad karake aur bhii takleef hotii thii "Emran"
bhool jaane ke siwaa ab koii bhii chaaraa na thaa
meri sulagti tanhai ko wo zalim kya samjhe ga
mai har rooz jalta hon ek parwanay ki tarha
I will be right there for you
It's so hard to say
How a love could end this way
The one that used to care for you
Just turns and walks away
And it's so hard to find
To leave the pain behind
When all the things you're looking for
Your heart can't seem to find
-chorus-
I'll be the air that you breathe
I'll give the strength that you need
I'll be the light in your eyes
When hope becomes hard to see
I'll be your shining star
To guide you wherever you are
And I promise that I'll be by your side
Always you and I
No, you're not alone
Without a love to call your own
'Cause I'll always be right there for you
To help you carry on
A heart that's always true
Girl, I'm giving mine to you
And everything you'll ever need
I promise I will do
Girl, you know I'll stay beside?-
I will be right there for you
With a hand to hold
A heart to see you through
'Cause each and every night
I will make you right
When life feels so wrong
'Cause in my arms is where you belong
How a love could end this way
The one that used to care for you
Just turns and walks away
And it's so hard to find
To leave the pain behind
When all the things you're looking for
Your heart can't seem to find
-chorus-
I'll be the air that you breathe
I'll give the strength that you need
I'll be the light in your eyes
When hope becomes hard to see
I'll be your shining star
To guide you wherever you are
And I promise that I'll be by your side
Always you and I
No, you're not alone
Without a love to call your own
'Cause I'll always be right there for you
To help you carry on
A heart that's always true
Girl, I'm giving mine to you
And everything you'll ever need
I promise I will do
Girl, you know I'll stay beside?-
I will be right there for you
With a hand to hold
A heart to see you through
'Cause each and every night
I will make you right
When life feels so wrong
'Cause in my arms is where you belong
Do U Know How Much.....
Do U Know How Much.....
Thoughts of you run through my head
Every minute, every hour, of everyday
At night I wake with such a fright
Dreaming of you not being there
What would I do if you were gone
You are thought of in every emotion
When I smile it is because you have brightened my day
When I cry it is because you are not there
When I frown it is because you are sad
When I laugh I am laughing with you
When I am happy it is because I know you are there
Please know you are my reason for living
You are in the deepest part of my heart
Just remember and always know,
You are the love of my life
No one else means more to me than you!
Thoughts of you run through my head
Every minute, every hour, of everyday
At night I wake with such a fright
Dreaming of you not being there
What would I do if you were gone
You are thought of in every emotion
When I smile it is because you have brightened my day
When I cry it is because you are not there
When I frown it is because you are sad
When I laugh I am laughing with you
When I am happy it is because I know you are there
Please know you are my reason for living
You are in the deepest part of my heart
Just remember and always know,
You are the love of my life
No one else means more to me than you!
TO THE ONE "I LOVE"!
TO THE ONE "I LOVE"!
Love is the tenderness in your loving touch.
Love is not needing the last word in an argument.
Love is looking at your own faults instead of mine.
Love is sacrificing instead of demanding.
Love is being there during the bad times too.
Love is caring when I'm sick.
Love is being faithful to our union.
Love is the honesty and respect you show me.
Love is giving instead of taking.
Love is making me laugh when I'm depressed.
Love is giving me comfort when I'm sad.
Love is sharing important decisions.
Love is forgiveness when I need it.
Love is being committed to our relationship.
Love is accepting me as is instead of trying to change me.
Love is holding me and crying with me.
You have blessed my heart and
our love with all of these.
My prayer is to return the same
precious love to thee.
itspravingodbole
Love is the tenderness in your loving touch.
Love is not needing the last word in an argument.
Love is looking at your own faults instead of mine.
Love is sacrificing instead of demanding.
Love is being there during the bad times too.
Love is caring when I'm sick.
Love is being faithful to our union.
Love is the honesty and respect you show me.
Love is giving instead of taking.
Love is making me laugh when I'm depressed.
Love is giving me comfort when I'm sad.
Love is sharing important decisions.
Love is forgiveness when I need it.
Love is being committed to our relationship.
Love is accepting me as is instead of trying to change me.
Love is holding me and crying with me.
You have blessed my heart and
our love with all of these.
My prayer is to return the same
precious love to thee.
itspravingodbole
MY GREATEST THANKS
Every time when a message comes
I open just thinking of you;
when its not you
I wont get disappointed
still I enjoy that moment
which made me
think of you
I open just thinking of you;
when its not you
I wont get disappointed
still I enjoy that moment
which made me
think of you
What Is Stress?
What Is Stress?
Stress is the emotional and physical strain caused by our response to pressure from the outside world. Common stress reactions include tension, irritability, inability to concentrate, and a variety of physical symptoms that include headache and a fast heartbeat.
It's almost impossible to live without some stress. And most of us wouldn't want to, because it gives life some spice and excitement. But if stress gets out of control, it may harm your health, your relationships, and your enjoyment of life.
Examples of "overload" situations are common in today's world:
You and your spouse both work full time while you are raising your family. At the same time, your parents are retired, in ill health, and are dependent on your help with shopping and running errands.
You are a single person living alone, and your salary isn't rising as fast as the rate of inflation. It's getting harder each month to pay the bills.
You are a divorced parent and share the custody of your children with your former spouse. But the friction between the two of you on matters concerning the children is becoming more bitter and more frequent.
The expectations and competition at your workplace is becoming fierce. You find yourself coming in early, staying late, and taking on more work than you can handle.
Managing stress involves learning about:
How stress affects the mind and body
How to identify the warning signs of stress
How to develop good stress-management techniques
When to seek professional help
What Are The Signs Of Stress?
Stress can cause both mental and physical symptoms. The effects of stress are different for different people.
The mental symptoms of stress include:
Tension
Irritability
Inability to concentrate
Feeling excessively tired
Trouble sleeping
The physical symptoms of stress include:
Dry mouth
A pounding heart
Difficulty breathing
Stomach upset
Frequent urination
Sweating palms
Tight muscles that may cause pain and trembling
Nice To Know:
Many addictions are linked to a stressful lifestyle, such as overeating, smoking, drinking, and drug abuse. These are used as an escape or a temporary way of "switching off" - but they do not address the underlying problem.
What Causes Stress?
We may think of stressful events as unpleasant ones, such as losing a job or having difficulties at home or at school. But changes for the better can also cause stress, like a new baby, a wedding, and a new house.
In an ideal world, maybe we could get away from stressful situations, or change them. Too often we can't do that - but we can learn to control our response to those situations. And we can develop techniques that will reduce the effects of stress on our mental and physical health.
What's Stressful For You?
What's stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to your best friend, your spouse, or the person next door. For example:
Some people enjoy speaking in public; others are terrified.
Some people are more productive under deadline pressure; others are miserably tense.
Some people are eager to help family and friends through difficult times; others find it very stressful.
Some people feel comfortable complaining about bad service in a restaurant; others find it so difficult to complain that they prefer to suffer in silence.
Some people may feel that changes at work represent a welcome opportunity; others worry about whether they'll be able to cope.
Nice To Know:
Q: Are some people more vulnerable to stress than others?
A: Yes. Personality type plays a role in reaction to stress. For example, people who drive themselves hard and are impatient (sometimes called Type A personalities) may be more at risk for stress-related physical problems. Certain occupations, such as law enforcement or air traffic control, are clearly more stressful than others. In addition, people with a personal or family history of mental illness may be affected more by stress.
What Are Your Personal Signs Of Stress?
People react to stress in different ways. Once you identify your own signs of stress, they can serve as your personal early warning system.
Think of yourself as a car that's equipped with lights and gauges to warn you if any problems are developing. If you keep an eye on the gauges and catch the trouble early, the problem may be easy to fix. If you ignore the warning signs, you may be in for a major repair job.
You should assess yourself for four types of stress signs:
Changes in body functions and physical health
Changes in emotions and feelings
Changes in behavior
Changes in thoughts
Use these checklists to identify your own signs of stress. There is space on the checklists for a second opinion, because people close to us may notice changes that we are not aware of.
Changes in body functions and physical health
Do you get more: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Backache
Muscle tension
Nervous stomach
Breathing problems
Frequent urination
Fatigue
Dizziness
Changes in emotions and feelings
Do you feel more: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Irritable
Sad
Worried
Tense
Angry
Changes in behavior
Are there changes in how much you: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Sleep
Eat (too much or too little)
Want sex (less or more than before)
Drink alcohol
Use drugs
Changes in how you think
Are you finding it harder to: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Remember things
Concentrate
Look on the bright side
Do you find yourself feeling:
Helpless
Hopeless
Now go over the lists, and pick out the signs of stress that you consider the most important - the ones that are really interfering with the way you function and enjoy life. Then mark on the next chart whether they are related to your body, your feelings, your behavior, or your thoughts.
How Does Stress Affect The Body?
To understand what stress does to us, imagine you lived tens of thousands of years ago, at a time when humans were threatened by hungry animals such as saber-toothed tigers and wolves. Our caveman ancestors had to be able to react instantly, either by fighting the beasts or running away.
So humans evolved the ability to respond to a stressful situation instantly, by preparing the body for "fight or flight." Under sudden stress, you will get a burst of exceptional strength and endurance, as your body pumps out stress hormones:
Your heart speeds up
Blood flow to your brain and muscles increases up to 400 percent
Your digestion stops (so it doesn't use up energy that's needed elsewhere)
Your muscle tension increases
You breathe faster, to bring more oxygen to your muscles
Sometimes we can still benefit from this "fight or flight" response - like the case of a mother whose child was pinned under a concrete slab during a tornado. Under stress, she found the strength to lift the huge slab with her bare hands, even though it later took three men to move it.
But much of the time in modern life, the "fight or flight" response won't help. Yet those stress hormones still flood your system, preparing you for physical action. And if you are under stress frequently, it can harm your physical health.
How Stress Can Hurt Us
It has been estimated that two-thirds of all visits to physicians are for stress-related problems. Recent evidence indicates that the physical changes associated with stress may contribute to the leading causes of death - heart disease and cancer.
The effects of stress include the following:
Stress can cause chronic fatigue, digestive upsets, headaches, and back pain.
Stress can affect the blood cells that help you fight off infection, so you are more likely to get colds and other diseases.
Constant stress can increase blood pressure and can increase the risk for stroke.
Stress can increase the danger of heart attacks, particularly if you are often angry and mistrustful.
Stress can make an asthma attack worse.
Stress triggers behaviors that contribute to death and disability, such as smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, and overeating.
Stress can lead to diminished sexual desire and an inability to achieve orgasm.
Stress makes it harder to take other steps to improve health, such as giving up smoking or making changes in diet.
Dealing With Stress
One method of stress management is called the TARP method, and it has been proven effective for many. A tarp is a protective cover thrown over something - a car or boat, for example - to protect it from the elements. Likewise, the TARP method offers a form of protection, too - protection against the distressing and sometimes harmful effects of stress.
The TARP method teaches simple techniques that can be used any time, anywhere, to control your response to stressful situations. It consists of four steps:
T is for "Tune in" - Get into the habit of noticing early signs of stress.
A is for "Analyze" - Think about the source or causes of your stress.
R is for "Respond" - Deal with the cause of your stress, and its effects on you.
P is for "Prevent" - Develop good stress-reduction habits for a healthier lifestyle.
In addition to the TARP method, other activities and methods also can help manage stress.
"Tune in"
Tuning in is important, because if you don't tackle your stress early, it can interfere with your sense of well being and your health almost before you know it. And the effects of stress often get worse as time goes on.
Whenever you notice yourself feeling the beginnings of stress - for example, when you feel irritable, tense, distracted, or fatigued - scan yourself for signs of stress.
How-To Information:
Follow these four steps to scan yourself for signs of stress:
1. Scan yourself for physical signs of stress, starting with your head and working down. For example:
Do you have muscle tension?
Do you have sweaty palms?
Do you have rapid breathing or rapid pulse?
2. Scan your behavior for signs of stress. For example:
Are you pacing or fidgeting?
Is your voice too tense, too loud or too quiet?
3. Scan your emotions, remembering some feelings that may be in the background. For example:
Do you feel nervous, moody, depressed?
Do you feel frustrated?
Do you feel lonely?
4. Scan your thoughts and thinking patterns. For example:
Are your thoughts always turning to your worries?
Are you having trouble with concentration or memory?
Learning to spot signs of stress instantly can take practice. But if you make a point of scanning your body, behavior, feelings, and thoughts regularly, it will get easier.
Nice To Know:
Some people may find that a single sign will always tip them off that they are under stress. For example, they may notice that they always start to sweat, or tap a foot, or talk fast. Other people may have a "menu" of warning signs, any one of which could alert them to the beginning of stress.
"Analyze"
Once you know how to "tune in" to your signs of stress, you will be better able to analyze the situations that are stressful to you. These "stressors," as they are called, could be either external or internal.
External stressors are things and events outside your body that can make you feel threatened or out of control. For example:
Physical irritants like noise, pollution, heat, or humidity
Work demands or conditions
Frightening events, like narrowly escaping a traffic accident
Social or family demands, changes, or problems
Internal stressors result from one's own attitudes and thinking patterns. For example:
Do you always talk to yourself with words like "should, must, and ought?"
Do you feel like a failure if you are late, or if things don't go as planned?
Do you have "me last" syndrome, feeling you have to look after everyone else's needs before you think of your own?
Do you feel worthless unless everyone likes you all the time?
Are you guilty of "awful-izing," which means always expecting the worst? For example, if family members are late, do you often imagine they are injured or dead?
Need To Know:
Sometimes, your body itself can cause stress. For example, it is stressful to have to live with constant backache or other nagging sources of pain. Or, if you are not sleeping well (perhaps because of stress), you may be more stressed than ever the next day because you are so tired.
How-To Information:
A stress diary can be helpful in the analyzing stage. For one week, write down all the stressors you can identify. Don't leave anything out. Here's an example:
"Respond"
"Responding" in the days of early man meant fighting the source of stress or running away from it. Your body will still produce a physical "alarm response" that pumps stress hormones through your body, tensing your muscles and speeding up your heart. This "alarm response" in most cases doesn't do us any good - and it can be harmful.
You can learn to turn off the alarm response and regain control. You can learn to respond calmly, and deal actively and positively with your stress, whether it is caused by outside or internal factors.
Four useful techniques for responding calmly are:
1. Time out. A brief time out is the simplest possible approach to stress:
Stop the activity (or the conversation) that was causing you stress.
If you can move away, go to another room, or go for a short walk.
If you can't move away, count to 10 silently before you speak again.
2. Breathing. You can often tell if people are under stress because of the way they are breathing. For example, customs officers have noticed that smugglers are the people taking fast, shallow breaths. If you learn to control your breathing, it will help you regain control over the effects of stress.
Watch babies breathing; their abdomens expand when they breathe in.
Watch a tense adult breathing; there may be no movement of the abdomen. All the work is being done by the chest.
Abdominal breathing can be very soothing, because it slows you down. It is also efficient, bringing a good supply of oxygen to your brain. Prepare for stressful times by practicing your breathing now:
Check your breathing pattern by putting one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach. If your lower hand moves and your top hand does not, you are doing abdominal breathing. But if your top hand moves and your bottom one does not, you are doing chest breathing.
To do abdominal breathing, get your stomach relax. Breathe in deeply, then breathe all the air out. Let your lungs fill with air again naturally, while your stomach expands.
Practice this "belly breathing" whenever you have spare time (for example, while you are driving).
Whenever you are stressed, worried, or tense, use your breathing to help calm yourself down. Take a deep breath and quietly let it go out completely, then let your abdomen expand as the air comes back into your lungs. Keep noticing your abdominal breathing for another few breaths.
For a variation on this breathing technique, try "10-to-one countdown" breathing:
Start with abdominal breathing, letting all the breath out and then allowing your abdomen to expand as your lungs fill up again.
When you breathe out again, say "10," letting go of tension as if it is being carried out of your body with the air.
Next time you breathe out, say "nine," and so on, all the way down to "one."
When you get to "one," start again.
Each time you breathe out, tell yourself you are letting go of tension.
Many people repeat this sequence slowly for a period of 15 to 20 minutes. They find that with each new countdown, they reach a deeper level of relaxation.
When we are under stress, we often feel things are happening too fast. Another technique, called slow-down breathing, can help you get settled down and in control. It starts with abdominal breathing, and uses cue words to help you focus and clear your mind. Examples of cue words are:
As you breathe in, silently say "calm"
As you breathe out, silently say "smiling"
As you breathe in, say "present"
As you breathe out, say "now"
Practice breathing techniques for five or 10 minutes until you get the feel of it, then again several times a day for a few moments. Then it will be instantly ready to use as a "mini-tranquilizer" whenever you notice yourself starting to feel tense or out of control.
3. Progressive muscle relaxation. This technique will help you get rid of the muscle tension that is a major sign of uncontrolled stress, and which can lead to headaches, back pain, and muscle pulls. It is based on the principle that muscles go to a deeper level of relaxation after they have been tensed.
Lie on the floor or on a firm bed, or sit in a chair that has good head support.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply two or three times.
Next, tighten up the muscles of different parts of your body in turn; keep them tight while you count silently to five; then let go and imagine the tension going out as you relax and smooth the muscles.
Start with your face. Squint your eyes, tighten your teeth and jaw, and wrinkle your forehead. Feel the tension while you count silently to five, and then let go of it. Feel the warmth of relaxation coming to your face.
Next, pull your shoulders up until they nearly touch your ears. Feel the tension while you count silently to five. Then let go.
Now progress through the rest of your body, tightening muscles while you count slowly to five, then letting the tension go. Start with your stomach and chest muscles, then your lower abdomen, buttocks, and thighs. Finish with your lower legs, curling up your toes and tightening calf muscles to feel the tension in your foot, ankle, calves, and knee.
When you have finished, notice the tension and release in all your muscles. Breathe deeply a few times, and feel relaxed, refreshed, and comfortable.
4. Thought-stopping. This is a good technique for dealing with stress that comes from your own negative feelings. When you notice negative thoughts, just say "stop!" to yourself. It may sound too simple to be effective - but it works, even though you may have to repeat the word several times until the negative thoughts are interrupted.
Sometimes, using mental images can help you stop the negative thoughts:
Imagine that the negative thoughts are coming from a tape recorder, and that you can push the "stop" button or turn down the volume to zero.
Imagine sticky paper that catches your negative thoughts as they fly about.
Imagine a "stop" sign that blocks your negative thoughts.
Imagine a box that your negative thoughts get trapped in.
Imagine you are driving through a car wash that washes the thoughts away.
Need To Know:
And the secret is...
The secret to making these four "respond" techniques work is to practice them several times a week, until you feel comfortable. Then use them. And don't give up on them too soon. All too often, people will only try something a couple of times and give up after a few days. It may take a while before you are getting the full benefit of these techniques.
"Prevent"
There are simple things you can do to help your body and mind withstand stress. These will help you improve your immune system, your energy level, your self-esteem, and your sense of well-being.
1. Relaxation. Relaxing regularly will help prevent stress.
Set aside just 15 minutes every day, whether you are feeling stressed or not.
Go through whatever relaxation procedures work best for you. Techniques such as yoga and stretching can be effective, as can progressive muscle relaxation .
2. Regular exercise. If you know people who run, swim, or bicycle regularly, you may notice that they have less stress than others. When your body is in first-class condition, your mind and emotions will also benefit. Regular exercise is one excellent way to "stress-proof" yourself, or at reduce the bad effects of stress.
Exercise can make you look better, sleep better, concentrate better, and withstand disease better. It will also improve your mood and make you feel better about yourself. The best exercise for stress-proofing is aerobic activity, which uses your whole body. This includes jogging, bicycling, brisk walking, cross-country skiing, aerobic dancing, swimming, rowing, skating, and stair-stepping.
If you are not used to exercise, start with walking. Walk briskly for about 20 minutes, three times a week.
As you get in shape, take longer walks, or switch to a more vigorous form of activity.
If you don't have access to a lake, mountain, or country road to row, ski, or bike on, substitute on machines at home or in a gym. But whenever you can, get out into nature. The quietness and change of scene will help your stress levels.
Need To Know:
Some exercise safety tips:
If you are over age 35 and not used to vigorous exercise, check with a doctor before you start, or stick to walking.
Begin every exercise session slowly (including walks), and don't speed up until your muscles are warm.
Don't race. Take the talk test. If you don't have enough spare breath to hold a conversation, slow down.
At the end of your exercise session, walk around slowly for a while to cool down.
3. Eating right. You will be much better able to withstand stress if your body feels good, and it can't feel good if you don't feed it properly.
Make sure you have three good meals a day, with plenty of fruit, vegetables, and filling food like bread, rice, or noodles.
If you get hungry between meals, plan for a nutritious snack like fruit, yogurt, or a bagel. If you take a snack to work with you, you won't be tempted by junk food.
Eating well will give you a sense of control that can help to reduce your stress levels, as well as making you feel good physically.
4. Chemicals: alcohol and drugs. People may be tempted to take a drink or drugs to deal with stress. It doesn't help. Alcohol may seem to calm you down, but it only masks the symptoms of stress for a while. Excessive alcohol (and drugs) will give you a rebound; you are likely to feel more stressed than ever when the effects wear off.
One or two drinks a day, such as a glass of wine or beer with dinner, usually won't harm you. If you are regularly drinking much more than that, cut down - and if that is hard to do, get some help.
5. Tobacco. People often say that a cigarette "calms their nerves," but tobacco is really a stimulant. If you are afraid that quitting would cause you too much stress, talk to your doctor about prescribing a nicotine patch or gum to help ease the difficulty of withdrawal. Patches or gum work best if you also join a quit-smoking group or use a good self-help program that helps you learn to be a nonsmoker. In the long run, you will become a calmer person if you stop smoking.
6. Caffeine. People have different reactions to caffeine, and most people can take two or three cups of coffee or tea a day without trouble. But you might try cutting down your caffeine intake, to see if you are less jumpy. (If you get a headache for a few days, don't worry; that's a normal withdrawal symptom, and it will go away within a week.)
Other Ways To Manage Stress
In addition to the relaxation practices described in the "TARP" method, there are many activities and methods that can help manage stress. These include:
Humor
Hobbies
Meditation
Biofeedback
Massage therapy
Humor
Many stress-management experts recommend keeping a sense of humor during difficult situations. Laughing releases muscle tension and helps a person maintain perspective.
Activities as simple as watching a funny movie, listening to a tape of a comedian's routine, or sharing time with a humorous friend can provide a psychological lift and relieve stress.
Hobbies
Regular leisure activities are important in reducing stress. Many people benefit from making time for positive leisure pursuits rather than, for example, spending time watching television in the evening (although that, too, can be relaxing to some degree).
Relaxing hobbies include gardening, painting, bicycling, photography, carpentry, collecting, and many others. In order to obtain the most relaxation and enjoyment, the satisfaction should come in doing the hobby, not in the results. An individual who pursues gardening for relaxation may not grow prize-winning vegetables, but they can be eaten. An amateur photographer may not sell photographs, but they can be admired by friends and family.
Meditation
Used for many years in Eastern cultures, meditation is becoming more widely accepted in the U.S. as a relaxation technique. Meditation reduces heart rate, blood pressure, adrenaline levels, and skin temperature.
There are a variety of meditation techniques that share a common goal: to achieve relaxation by clearing the mind of stressful outside interferences. Meditation involves achieving a state of consciousness in which the individual focuses on a single thing, such as a key word, sound, or image.
Meditation techniques rely on quiet surroundings, sitting still, and a repetitive mental pattern. Various techniques are taught in instruction books and through religious and nonreligious organizations.
Biofeedback
Biofeedback provides a way for people to learn to control activities over which they normally have no awareness, such as heart rate and muscle tension. It is considered by many health professionals to be a valuable therapeutic tool for reducing stress. Biofeedback involves no discomfort and no risk.
Biofeedback relies on sensitive electronic equipment. Sensors are placed on the body at various locations to measure skin temperature and muscle activity. The sensors are attached to a monitor that detects fluctuations when a person is anxious and displays signals in the form of beeps or light flashes. By watching the monitor, a person learns to control these stressful responses.
Massage Therapy
Massage is the gentle practice of manipulating the body's tissues in order to soothe and heal. It is one of the most ancient of the healing arts, and more people today are relying on it for natural, drug-free relief from the effects of busy, overstressed lives. Massage can relax the entire body and provide new energy that lingers long after the massage is over.
A number of research studies have shown that massage reduces heart rate, lowers blood pressure, increases blood circulation and lymph flow, relaxes muscles, improves range of motion, and increases the production of endorphins, which are the body's own natural painkillers. There are a number of massage therapy techniques, including Swedish massage and Shiatsu.
Massages can be for the full body or particular areas of the body, such as the back and shoulders. Some people choose to wear some clothing during a massage; others prefer to undress or use a dressing gown. During a massage, the person is warmly covered, and only the part of the body on which the therapist is working is uncovered.
Need To Know:
A word about medication
Medication can be useful for dealing with short periods of acute stress, where the anxiety is severe and disabling, to help people regain control and begin coping. It can relieve symptoms temporarily, but it does not address the underlying problem.
When To Get Extra Help
Self-help techniques for stress management have tremendous potential. They are easy to use, they're economical, and they are good for your general health. However, there may be times when you need other help in dealing with stress.
To help you decide if you need additional help, here are some questions to ask yourself:
Is stress really the problem? Sometimes, people may be too quick to blame stress if they are tired, or their backaches, or they are having trouble eating or sleeping. Check with your doctor to rule out physical reasons for these symptoms before you conclude that they are caused by stress.
Is it more than stress? You may have psychological problems that are more complicated than stress. If you are frequently depressed, often feel panic, or think you may have a phobia (an abnormal fear of an object, experience, or place), consult a doctor or psychologist.
Do you need technical help? Technical help can come in the form of books, videos, consultations with experts or the leader of a stress-management group. Here are some suggestions.
Consultation With An Expert
You may want the guidance that comes from individual consultation with a professional. An expert in stress management can do an assessment to identify which techniques would best suit your skills, temperament, and needs. Professional that help individuals cope with stress include:
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Nurse
Physician
Exercise instructor
Dietitian
Stress is the emotional and physical strain caused by our response to pressure from the outside world. Common stress reactions include tension, irritability, inability to concentrate, and a variety of physical symptoms that include headache and a fast heartbeat.
It's almost impossible to live without some stress. And most of us wouldn't want to, because it gives life some spice and excitement. But if stress gets out of control, it may harm your health, your relationships, and your enjoyment of life.
Examples of "overload" situations are common in today's world:
You and your spouse both work full time while you are raising your family. At the same time, your parents are retired, in ill health, and are dependent on your help with shopping and running errands.
You are a single person living alone, and your salary isn't rising as fast as the rate of inflation. It's getting harder each month to pay the bills.
You are a divorced parent and share the custody of your children with your former spouse. But the friction between the two of you on matters concerning the children is becoming more bitter and more frequent.
The expectations and competition at your workplace is becoming fierce. You find yourself coming in early, staying late, and taking on more work than you can handle.
Managing stress involves learning about:
How stress affects the mind and body
How to identify the warning signs of stress
How to develop good stress-management techniques
When to seek professional help
What Are The Signs Of Stress?
Stress can cause both mental and physical symptoms. The effects of stress are different for different people.
The mental symptoms of stress include:
Tension
Irritability
Inability to concentrate
Feeling excessively tired
Trouble sleeping
The physical symptoms of stress include:
Dry mouth
A pounding heart
Difficulty breathing
Stomach upset
Frequent urination
Sweating palms
Tight muscles that may cause pain and trembling
Nice To Know:
Many addictions are linked to a stressful lifestyle, such as overeating, smoking, drinking, and drug abuse. These are used as an escape or a temporary way of "switching off" - but they do not address the underlying problem.
What Causes Stress?
We may think of stressful events as unpleasant ones, such as losing a job or having difficulties at home or at school. But changes for the better can also cause stress, like a new baby, a wedding, and a new house.
In an ideal world, maybe we could get away from stressful situations, or change them. Too often we can't do that - but we can learn to control our response to those situations. And we can develop techniques that will reduce the effects of stress on our mental and physical health.
What's Stressful For You?
What's stressful for you may be quite different from what's stressful to your best friend, your spouse, or the person next door. For example:
Some people enjoy speaking in public; others are terrified.
Some people are more productive under deadline pressure; others are miserably tense.
Some people are eager to help family and friends through difficult times; others find it very stressful.
Some people feel comfortable complaining about bad service in a restaurant; others find it so difficult to complain that they prefer to suffer in silence.
Some people may feel that changes at work represent a welcome opportunity; others worry about whether they'll be able to cope.
Nice To Know:
Q: Are some people more vulnerable to stress than others?
A: Yes. Personality type plays a role in reaction to stress. For example, people who drive themselves hard and are impatient (sometimes called Type A personalities) may be more at risk for stress-related physical problems. Certain occupations, such as law enforcement or air traffic control, are clearly more stressful than others. In addition, people with a personal or family history of mental illness may be affected more by stress.
What Are Your Personal Signs Of Stress?
People react to stress in different ways. Once you identify your own signs of stress, they can serve as your personal early warning system.
Think of yourself as a car that's equipped with lights and gauges to warn you if any problems are developing. If you keep an eye on the gauges and catch the trouble early, the problem may be easy to fix. If you ignore the warning signs, you may be in for a major repair job.
You should assess yourself for four types of stress signs:
Changes in body functions and physical health
Changes in emotions and feelings
Changes in behavior
Changes in thoughts
Use these checklists to identify your own signs of stress. There is space on the checklists for a second opinion, because people close to us may notice changes that we are not aware of.
Changes in body functions and physical health
Do you get more: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Backache
Muscle tension
Nervous stomach
Breathing problems
Frequent urination
Fatigue
Dizziness
Changes in emotions and feelings
Do you feel more: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Irritable
Sad
Worried
Tense
Angry
Changes in behavior
Are there changes in how much you: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Sleep
Eat (too much or too little)
Want sex (less or more than before)
Drink alcohol
Use drugs
Changes in how you think
Are you finding it harder to: Are you having this sign of stress? Has some one else noticed you have this sign?
Remember things
Concentrate
Look on the bright side
Do you find yourself feeling:
Helpless
Hopeless
Now go over the lists, and pick out the signs of stress that you consider the most important - the ones that are really interfering with the way you function and enjoy life. Then mark on the next chart whether they are related to your body, your feelings, your behavior, or your thoughts.
How Does Stress Affect The Body?
To understand what stress does to us, imagine you lived tens of thousands of years ago, at a time when humans were threatened by hungry animals such as saber-toothed tigers and wolves. Our caveman ancestors had to be able to react instantly, either by fighting the beasts or running away.
So humans evolved the ability to respond to a stressful situation instantly, by preparing the body for "fight or flight." Under sudden stress, you will get a burst of exceptional strength and endurance, as your body pumps out stress hormones:
Your heart speeds up
Blood flow to your brain and muscles increases up to 400 percent
Your digestion stops (so it doesn't use up energy that's needed elsewhere)
Your muscle tension increases
You breathe faster, to bring more oxygen to your muscles
Sometimes we can still benefit from this "fight or flight" response - like the case of a mother whose child was pinned under a concrete slab during a tornado. Under stress, she found the strength to lift the huge slab with her bare hands, even though it later took three men to move it.
But much of the time in modern life, the "fight or flight" response won't help. Yet those stress hormones still flood your system, preparing you for physical action. And if you are under stress frequently, it can harm your physical health.
How Stress Can Hurt Us
It has been estimated that two-thirds of all visits to physicians are for stress-related problems. Recent evidence indicates that the physical changes associated with stress may contribute to the leading causes of death - heart disease and cancer.
The effects of stress include the following:
Stress can cause chronic fatigue, digestive upsets, headaches, and back pain.
Stress can affect the blood cells that help you fight off infection, so you are more likely to get colds and other diseases.
Constant stress can increase blood pressure and can increase the risk for stroke.
Stress can increase the danger of heart attacks, particularly if you are often angry and mistrustful.
Stress can make an asthma attack worse.
Stress triggers behaviors that contribute to death and disability, such as smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, and overeating.
Stress can lead to diminished sexual desire and an inability to achieve orgasm.
Stress makes it harder to take other steps to improve health, such as giving up smoking or making changes in diet.
Dealing With Stress
One method of stress management is called the TARP method, and it has been proven effective for many. A tarp is a protective cover thrown over something - a car or boat, for example - to protect it from the elements. Likewise, the TARP method offers a form of protection, too - protection against the distressing and sometimes harmful effects of stress.
The TARP method teaches simple techniques that can be used any time, anywhere, to control your response to stressful situations. It consists of four steps:
T is for "Tune in" - Get into the habit of noticing early signs of stress.
A is for "Analyze" - Think about the source or causes of your stress.
R is for "Respond" - Deal with the cause of your stress, and its effects on you.
P is for "Prevent" - Develop good stress-reduction habits for a healthier lifestyle.
In addition to the TARP method, other activities and methods also can help manage stress.
"Tune in"
Tuning in is important, because if you don't tackle your stress early, it can interfere with your sense of well being and your health almost before you know it. And the effects of stress often get worse as time goes on.
Whenever you notice yourself feeling the beginnings of stress - for example, when you feel irritable, tense, distracted, or fatigued - scan yourself for signs of stress.
How-To Information:
Follow these four steps to scan yourself for signs of stress:
1. Scan yourself for physical signs of stress, starting with your head and working down. For example:
Do you have muscle tension?
Do you have sweaty palms?
Do you have rapid breathing or rapid pulse?
2. Scan your behavior for signs of stress. For example:
Are you pacing or fidgeting?
Is your voice too tense, too loud or too quiet?
3. Scan your emotions, remembering some feelings that may be in the background. For example:
Do you feel nervous, moody, depressed?
Do you feel frustrated?
Do you feel lonely?
4. Scan your thoughts and thinking patterns. For example:
Are your thoughts always turning to your worries?
Are you having trouble with concentration or memory?
Learning to spot signs of stress instantly can take practice. But if you make a point of scanning your body, behavior, feelings, and thoughts regularly, it will get easier.
Nice To Know:
Some people may find that a single sign will always tip them off that they are under stress. For example, they may notice that they always start to sweat, or tap a foot, or talk fast. Other people may have a "menu" of warning signs, any one of which could alert them to the beginning of stress.
"Analyze"
Once you know how to "tune in" to your signs of stress, you will be better able to analyze the situations that are stressful to you. These "stressors," as they are called, could be either external or internal.
External stressors are things and events outside your body that can make you feel threatened or out of control. For example:
Physical irritants like noise, pollution, heat, or humidity
Work demands or conditions
Frightening events, like narrowly escaping a traffic accident
Social or family demands, changes, or problems
Internal stressors result from one's own attitudes and thinking patterns. For example:
Do you always talk to yourself with words like "should, must, and ought?"
Do you feel like a failure if you are late, or if things don't go as planned?
Do you have "me last" syndrome, feeling you have to look after everyone else's needs before you think of your own?
Do you feel worthless unless everyone likes you all the time?
Are you guilty of "awful-izing," which means always expecting the worst? For example, if family members are late, do you often imagine they are injured or dead?
Need To Know:
Sometimes, your body itself can cause stress. For example, it is stressful to have to live with constant backache or other nagging sources of pain. Or, if you are not sleeping well (perhaps because of stress), you may be more stressed than ever the next day because you are so tired.
How-To Information:
A stress diary can be helpful in the analyzing stage. For one week, write down all the stressors you can identify. Don't leave anything out. Here's an example:
"Respond"
"Responding" in the days of early man meant fighting the source of stress or running away from it. Your body will still produce a physical "alarm response" that pumps stress hormones through your body, tensing your muscles and speeding up your heart. This "alarm response" in most cases doesn't do us any good - and it can be harmful.
You can learn to turn off the alarm response and regain control. You can learn to respond calmly, and deal actively and positively with your stress, whether it is caused by outside or internal factors.
Four useful techniques for responding calmly are:
1. Time out. A brief time out is the simplest possible approach to stress:
Stop the activity (or the conversation) that was causing you stress.
If you can move away, go to another room, or go for a short walk.
If you can't move away, count to 10 silently before you speak again.
2. Breathing. You can often tell if people are under stress because of the way they are breathing. For example, customs officers have noticed that smugglers are the people taking fast, shallow breaths. If you learn to control your breathing, it will help you regain control over the effects of stress.
Watch babies breathing; their abdomens expand when they breathe in.
Watch a tense adult breathing; there may be no movement of the abdomen. All the work is being done by the chest.
Abdominal breathing can be very soothing, because it slows you down. It is also efficient, bringing a good supply of oxygen to your brain. Prepare for stressful times by practicing your breathing now:
Check your breathing pattern by putting one hand on your chest and one hand on your stomach. If your lower hand moves and your top hand does not, you are doing abdominal breathing. But if your top hand moves and your bottom one does not, you are doing chest breathing.
To do abdominal breathing, get your stomach relax. Breathe in deeply, then breathe all the air out. Let your lungs fill with air again naturally, while your stomach expands.
Practice this "belly breathing" whenever you have spare time (for example, while you are driving).
Whenever you are stressed, worried, or tense, use your breathing to help calm yourself down. Take a deep breath and quietly let it go out completely, then let your abdomen expand as the air comes back into your lungs. Keep noticing your abdominal breathing for another few breaths.
For a variation on this breathing technique, try "10-to-one countdown" breathing:
Start with abdominal breathing, letting all the breath out and then allowing your abdomen to expand as your lungs fill up again.
When you breathe out again, say "10," letting go of tension as if it is being carried out of your body with the air.
Next time you breathe out, say "nine," and so on, all the way down to "one."
When you get to "one," start again.
Each time you breathe out, tell yourself you are letting go of tension.
Many people repeat this sequence slowly for a period of 15 to 20 minutes. They find that with each new countdown, they reach a deeper level of relaxation.
When we are under stress, we often feel things are happening too fast. Another technique, called slow-down breathing, can help you get settled down and in control. It starts with abdominal breathing, and uses cue words to help you focus and clear your mind. Examples of cue words are:
As you breathe in, silently say "calm"
As you breathe out, silently say "smiling"
As you breathe in, say "present"
As you breathe out, say "now"
Practice breathing techniques for five or 10 minutes until you get the feel of it, then again several times a day for a few moments. Then it will be instantly ready to use as a "mini-tranquilizer" whenever you notice yourself starting to feel tense or out of control.
3. Progressive muscle relaxation. This technique will help you get rid of the muscle tension that is a major sign of uncontrolled stress, and which can lead to headaches, back pain, and muscle pulls. It is based on the principle that muscles go to a deeper level of relaxation after they have been tensed.
Lie on the floor or on a firm bed, or sit in a chair that has good head support.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply two or three times.
Next, tighten up the muscles of different parts of your body in turn; keep them tight while you count silently to five; then let go and imagine the tension going out as you relax and smooth the muscles.
Start with your face. Squint your eyes, tighten your teeth and jaw, and wrinkle your forehead. Feel the tension while you count silently to five, and then let go of it. Feel the warmth of relaxation coming to your face.
Next, pull your shoulders up until they nearly touch your ears. Feel the tension while you count silently to five. Then let go.
Now progress through the rest of your body, tightening muscles while you count slowly to five, then letting the tension go. Start with your stomach and chest muscles, then your lower abdomen, buttocks, and thighs. Finish with your lower legs, curling up your toes and tightening calf muscles to feel the tension in your foot, ankle, calves, and knee.
When you have finished, notice the tension and release in all your muscles. Breathe deeply a few times, and feel relaxed, refreshed, and comfortable.
4. Thought-stopping. This is a good technique for dealing with stress that comes from your own negative feelings. When you notice negative thoughts, just say "stop!" to yourself. It may sound too simple to be effective - but it works, even though you may have to repeat the word several times until the negative thoughts are interrupted.
Sometimes, using mental images can help you stop the negative thoughts:
Imagine that the negative thoughts are coming from a tape recorder, and that you can push the "stop" button or turn down the volume to zero.
Imagine sticky paper that catches your negative thoughts as they fly about.
Imagine a "stop" sign that blocks your negative thoughts.
Imagine a box that your negative thoughts get trapped in.
Imagine you are driving through a car wash that washes the thoughts away.
Need To Know:
And the secret is...
The secret to making these four "respond" techniques work is to practice them several times a week, until you feel comfortable. Then use them. And don't give up on them too soon. All too often, people will only try something a couple of times and give up after a few days. It may take a while before you are getting the full benefit of these techniques.
"Prevent"
There are simple things you can do to help your body and mind withstand stress. These will help you improve your immune system, your energy level, your self-esteem, and your sense of well-being.
1. Relaxation. Relaxing regularly will help prevent stress.
Set aside just 15 minutes every day, whether you are feeling stressed or not.
Go through whatever relaxation procedures work best for you. Techniques such as yoga and stretching can be effective, as can progressive muscle relaxation .
2. Regular exercise. If you know people who run, swim, or bicycle regularly, you may notice that they have less stress than others. When your body is in first-class condition, your mind and emotions will also benefit. Regular exercise is one excellent way to "stress-proof" yourself, or at reduce the bad effects of stress.
Exercise can make you look better, sleep better, concentrate better, and withstand disease better. It will also improve your mood and make you feel better about yourself. The best exercise for stress-proofing is aerobic activity, which uses your whole body. This includes jogging, bicycling, brisk walking, cross-country skiing, aerobic dancing, swimming, rowing, skating, and stair-stepping.
If you are not used to exercise, start with walking. Walk briskly for about 20 minutes, three times a week.
As you get in shape, take longer walks, or switch to a more vigorous form of activity.
If you don't have access to a lake, mountain, or country road to row, ski, or bike on, substitute on machines at home or in a gym. But whenever you can, get out into nature. The quietness and change of scene will help your stress levels.
Need To Know:
Some exercise safety tips:
If you are over age 35 and not used to vigorous exercise, check with a doctor before you start, or stick to walking.
Begin every exercise session slowly (including walks), and don't speed up until your muscles are warm.
Don't race. Take the talk test. If you don't have enough spare breath to hold a conversation, slow down.
At the end of your exercise session, walk around slowly for a while to cool down.
3. Eating right. You will be much better able to withstand stress if your body feels good, and it can't feel good if you don't feed it properly.
Make sure you have three good meals a day, with plenty of fruit, vegetables, and filling food like bread, rice, or noodles.
If you get hungry between meals, plan for a nutritious snack like fruit, yogurt, or a bagel. If you take a snack to work with you, you won't be tempted by junk food.
Eating well will give you a sense of control that can help to reduce your stress levels, as well as making you feel good physically.
4. Chemicals: alcohol and drugs. People may be tempted to take a drink or drugs to deal with stress. It doesn't help. Alcohol may seem to calm you down, but it only masks the symptoms of stress for a while. Excessive alcohol (and drugs) will give you a rebound; you are likely to feel more stressed than ever when the effects wear off.
One or two drinks a day, such as a glass of wine or beer with dinner, usually won't harm you. If you are regularly drinking much more than that, cut down - and if that is hard to do, get some help.
5. Tobacco. People often say that a cigarette "calms their nerves," but tobacco is really a stimulant. If you are afraid that quitting would cause you too much stress, talk to your doctor about prescribing a nicotine patch or gum to help ease the difficulty of withdrawal. Patches or gum work best if you also join a quit-smoking group or use a good self-help program that helps you learn to be a nonsmoker. In the long run, you will become a calmer person if you stop smoking.
6. Caffeine. People have different reactions to caffeine, and most people can take two or three cups of coffee or tea a day without trouble. But you might try cutting down your caffeine intake, to see if you are less jumpy. (If you get a headache for a few days, don't worry; that's a normal withdrawal symptom, and it will go away within a week.)
Other Ways To Manage Stress
In addition to the relaxation practices described in the "TARP" method, there are many activities and methods that can help manage stress. These include:
Humor
Hobbies
Meditation
Biofeedback
Massage therapy
Humor
Many stress-management experts recommend keeping a sense of humor during difficult situations. Laughing releases muscle tension and helps a person maintain perspective.
Activities as simple as watching a funny movie, listening to a tape of a comedian's routine, or sharing time with a humorous friend can provide a psychological lift and relieve stress.
Hobbies
Regular leisure activities are important in reducing stress. Many people benefit from making time for positive leisure pursuits rather than, for example, spending time watching television in the evening (although that, too, can be relaxing to some degree).
Relaxing hobbies include gardening, painting, bicycling, photography, carpentry, collecting, and many others. In order to obtain the most relaxation and enjoyment, the satisfaction should come in doing the hobby, not in the results. An individual who pursues gardening for relaxation may not grow prize-winning vegetables, but they can be eaten. An amateur photographer may not sell photographs, but they can be admired by friends and family.
Meditation
Used for many years in Eastern cultures, meditation is becoming more widely accepted in the U.S. as a relaxation technique. Meditation reduces heart rate, blood pressure, adrenaline levels, and skin temperature.
There are a variety of meditation techniques that share a common goal: to achieve relaxation by clearing the mind of stressful outside interferences. Meditation involves achieving a state of consciousness in which the individual focuses on a single thing, such as a key word, sound, or image.
Meditation techniques rely on quiet surroundings, sitting still, and a repetitive mental pattern. Various techniques are taught in instruction books and through religious and nonreligious organizations.
Biofeedback
Biofeedback provides a way for people to learn to control activities over which they normally have no awareness, such as heart rate and muscle tension. It is considered by many health professionals to be a valuable therapeutic tool for reducing stress. Biofeedback involves no discomfort and no risk.
Biofeedback relies on sensitive electronic equipment. Sensors are placed on the body at various locations to measure skin temperature and muscle activity. The sensors are attached to a monitor that detects fluctuations when a person is anxious and displays signals in the form of beeps or light flashes. By watching the monitor, a person learns to control these stressful responses.
Massage Therapy
Massage is the gentle practice of manipulating the body's tissues in order to soothe and heal. It is one of the most ancient of the healing arts, and more people today are relying on it for natural, drug-free relief from the effects of busy, overstressed lives. Massage can relax the entire body and provide new energy that lingers long after the massage is over.
A number of research studies have shown that massage reduces heart rate, lowers blood pressure, increases blood circulation and lymph flow, relaxes muscles, improves range of motion, and increases the production of endorphins, which are the body's own natural painkillers. There are a number of massage therapy techniques, including Swedish massage and Shiatsu.
Massages can be for the full body or particular areas of the body, such as the back and shoulders. Some people choose to wear some clothing during a massage; others prefer to undress or use a dressing gown. During a massage, the person is warmly covered, and only the part of the body on which the therapist is working is uncovered.
Need To Know:
A word about medication
Medication can be useful for dealing with short periods of acute stress, where the anxiety is severe and disabling, to help people regain control and begin coping. It can relieve symptoms temporarily, but it does not address the underlying problem.
When To Get Extra Help
Self-help techniques for stress management have tremendous potential. They are easy to use, they're economical, and they are good for your general health. However, there may be times when you need other help in dealing with stress.
To help you decide if you need additional help, here are some questions to ask yourself:
Is stress really the problem? Sometimes, people may be too quick to blame stress if they are tired, or their backaches, or they are having trouble eating or sleeping. Check with your doctor to rule out physical reasons for these symptoms before you conclude that they are caused by stress.
Is it more than stress? You may have psychological problems that are more complicated than stress. If you are frequently depressed, often feel panic, or think you may have a phobia (an abnormal fear of an object, experience, or place), consult a doctor or psychologist.
Do you need technical help? Technical help can come in the form of books, videos, consultations with experts or the leader of a stress-management group. Here are some suggestions.
Consultation With An Expert
You may want the guidance that comes from individual consultation with a professional. An expert in stress management can do an assessment to identify which techniques would best suit your skills, temperament, and needs. Professional that help individuals cope with stress include:
Psychologist
Psychotherapist
Nurse
Physician
Exercise instructor
Dietitian
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